Me: Don't do that.
Jesus: You don't understand.
Me: OK, why do you want to get brutally murdered for me?
Jesus: Because you're a piece of shit sinner, and my dad, who is perfect and good, thinks sinners deserve eternal torment.
Me: Go to hell, Jesus.
When I was 5, "my" mom found me in my room crying. Turned out "my" kindergarten teacher had told a gruesome story. "Why did they have to kill him?," I wailed.
Jesus: You're gonna go to hell if I don't die for you, and maybe even if I do.
Me: Fine, I'll go to hell if it means you can avoid getting brutally murdered. Jesus, am I the only one around here with principles?
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2 comments:
"Fine, I'll go to hell if it means you can avoid getting brutally murdered. Jesus, am I the only one around here with principles?"
This was great.
I once had a conversation with a highly religious family member. They couldn't fathom why I didn't believe in the good news about the salvation that Christ supposedly purchased for us all on the cross.
My response was "well, how fucked up of a father are you, if you demand death for the smallest of infractions and then let your only son die for all of those same assholes who, the majority of which, don't give a shit or at the least, will continue to be assholes." I didn't get an adequate response, obviously.
Thanks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zYwjhJuNAE
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