Me: Don't do that.
Jesus: You don't understand.
Me: OK, why do you want to get brutally murdered for me?
Jesus: Because you're a
piece of shit sinner, and my dad, who is perfect and good, thinks sinners deserve eternal torment.
Me: Go to hell, Jesus.
Jesus: You're gonna go to hell if I don't die for you, and maybe even if I do.
Me: Fine, I'll go to hell if it means you can avoid getting brutally murdered. Jesus, am I the only one around here with principles?